Two Adults in a Room Cannot Be Optional

This week I had the opportunity to chat with a friend who has recently planted a church in our area.  As we discussed his challenges of building a church and children’s ministry from scratch, he asked me to tell him again why I was so adamant that there always be two adults in the room.  There were only 3-5 children after all.

This is one of my non-negotiables in kidmin, particularly in preschool ministry.  Safety and accountability is huge on my list in preschool.  I am a little bit of a freak about it.  Here’s what I communicate when I share why I’m passionate about this issue:

–  Basically I don’t really trust anyone.  I’m sure on some level I need counseling, but let me tell you the story that ruined me.  When I was in middle/high school, I had a student pastor who I adored.  He was very foundational in my growth as a new believer.  He moved on before I graduated, but I kept in touch occasionally with him and his wife.  He ended up pastoring a church within a few hours of where we live now.  Imagine my shock when my best friend from home called and asked if I had watched the news.  This pastor (who I would have written you a glowing reference for, by the way) had been arrested for molesting friends of his daughter when they spent the night.  Wow. I remember asking my husband, “If you can’t trust sending your child to your pastor’s house, who do you trust.”  I’ll never forget his response: “No one.”  Again, our response is probably extreme, but that story rocked us.

–  1 Peter 5:8 says that Satan is a roaring lion, seeking who he may devour.  When it comes to our kids, we can not be too careful because all it takes is one moment of stupid and even a great person can be devoured by temptation that devastates lives.

–  It is our responsibility to protect our kiddos, no matter what.  Two adults in the room provides accountability and protection for the kids.

–  This policy also protects the volunteers.  Kids can make up some crazy stuff or  parents can jump to wrong conclusions. If a volunteer is falsely accused, who will help them if there is not another adult in the room.

–  Volunteers will often wave away extra help, insisting that they can handle the class themselves.  I’m sure they can, but we just can’t let them.

–  One of the adults needs to be a lady.  We have been blessed with incredible men volunteers who I love dearly.  And I’m sure it is extremely sexist, but I don’t want a man having to change my little girl’s diaper or help her go to the restroom.

–  Husbands and wives in the same room really need a third person.  A spouse is going to side with a spouse in any situation.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:  If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Comments (2)

  • Well said, Jenny. Policies should never be relaxed when kids are effected. When D and I were church shopping a few years ago, our kids were in preschool. We left before we ever checked our kids into a class if there were less than 2 people in the room. Parents notice these things and make judgments on a church if they feel the safety of their kids is not respected. I would certainly feel safe leaving a preschooler in the care of your program.: )

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

© 2020 Everyday Kids Ministry, All Rights Reserved